📲 Product guide
Publish them as an app, and let their friends review it
The person you love, shipped as software: an icon, a developer line, a GET button, captioned screenshots, a stats strip, an expandable description, and a version history that gets steadily more unhinged. Their friends write the reviews through a separate link, and you can reply as the developer.
Step by step
The written walkthrough
Everything the video covers, in a form you can search, scan and keep open in another tab.
The listing
Step 1.1
Name, category, developer, price
The placeholders are the whole tone: “Meera”, “Girlfriend · Utilities”, “Sharma Family Enterprises”, and “Free (emotionally expensive)”. The category line and the price are where the writing pays off.
Step 1.2
The stats strip
Ratings count, size, age rating — the placeholders include “8,472” and “1 human”. Store furniture written about a person.
Screenshots
Step 2.1
Captions, in App Store voice
Each screen takes a caption. Written as feature copy rather than as a memory, they read the way a listing does — which is the point.
Version history
Step 3.1
The changelog is the best writing in the template
Add releases and let them drift. A changelog that starts with “bug fixes and performance improvements” and ends somewhere honest is the shape to aim for. It is empty until you add one — “No version history yet.”
The review link — send this to their friends
Step 4.1
Reviews arrive from a separate link
The builder gives you a review link and a Copy the review link control, with Share it on WhatsApp beside it. “Reviews land here first.”
“Nobody has written one. Somebody has to go first.” is what the listing says when it is empty, and it is the state most of these get sent in. Seed it with three or four friends before you hand over the listing.
Step 4.2
You can reply as the developer
There is a Developer Response on reviews. Replying to a friend's one-star in support-desk voice is the funniest thing available here.
Publish and share
Step 5.1
Two links, not one
“Her listing, and her reviews” — the builder hands you both. Keep them straight.
Your turn
About 7 minutes, and it is done.
You do not need an account to start — you are asked to sign in once, at the moment you publish.
Open The ListingQuestions
What people ask about this one
The listing says nobody has written a review.
Reviews come in through a separate review link. Copy it, send it to a few friends first, then give the person the listing itself — an empty listing is the one thing that flattens the joke.
Can I reply to the reviews?
Yes. Reviews carry a Developer Response, and answering a friend's complaint in support voice is the best use of it.
What should the price say?
Not a number. The template's own placeholder is “Free (emotionally expensive)”.
How do I write the changelog?
Let it escalate. Start it in real release-notes language and let later versions get more honest than any release note should be.
Keep going