🔮 Product guide
Run a full 36-guna kundli match, for entertainment only
A complete Ashtakoota compatibility report for two people: both birth details, the eight kootas scored out of 36, readings for each, and a remedies list. It uses real nakshatras and real yoni animals and then says so on its own face — “For entertainment. No astrological validity.”
Step by step
The written walkthrough
Everything the video covers, in a form you can search, scan and keep open in another tab.
The birth details
The report calls the two people Vara (groom) and Vadhu (bride), as a real kundli would.
Step 1.1
Name and place for each
The placeholders are a name — “e.g. Ananya” — and a place with its state, “Chennai, Tamil Nadu”. Both sides get the same fields.
Step 1.2
Submit the kundlis
That is the button that generates the report. Nothing is scored until you press it.
The Ashtakoota report
Step 2.1
Eight kootas, scored out of 36
The table is the real structure: Koota, Obtained, Remarks, and a TOTAL. The Rashi Chakra and Lagna are drawn out alongside it.
Step 2.2
Dosha, and the exhale
There is a dosha step with its own punchline — “Dosha cancelled. Everyone exhale.” Continue anyway is there if the score comes out badly, which is the joke.
The remedies
Step 3.1
Add remedy, and write them as instructions
The placeholder sets the tone exactly: “He shall bring chai without being asked. Sundays.” Written as a prescription rather than a wish, they are much funnier — and the first one already begins with chai.
Who signed it
Step 4.1
The astrologer's name
The placeholder is “Pt. Chandrakant Vyas-Sharma”. It prints under OFFICE OF THE REGISTRAR OF HEARTS with MILAN VERIFIED, and a plausible name does a surprising amount of work.
Save, publish, share
Step 5.1
There is a share card as well as the report
Report and Share card are separate outputs — the second is the compact one made for sending on.
Step 5.2
Publish from the preview
The same rule as the certificate: “Publish from the preview to get your shareable link.”
Your turn
About 5 minutes, and it is done.
You do not need an account to start — you are asked to sign in once, at the moment you publish.
Open Kundli Milan ReportQuestions
What people ask about this one
Is any of this real astrology?
The structure is — eight kootas, 36 gunas, real nakshatras and yoni animals. The conclusion is not, and the report says so on its face: “For entertainment. No astrological validity.”
What if the score comes out low?
There is a Continue anyway, and a dosha step that cancels itself — “Dosha cancelled. Everyone exhale.” A bad score is part of the bit rather than a dead end.
How should I write the remedies?
As instructions, not wishes. The template's own example is “He shall bring chai without being asked. Sundays.” The imperative is what makes them land.
What is the share card?
A compact version of the report, separate from the full document, made for sending on rather than reading through.
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